Friday, November 24, 2023

Thinking about goodbye...

Over a month ago, I thought I would have to say good-bye to Charly.  It was very late on a Thursday night.  Charly woke me with her crying – unusual because she has a stomach of steel and very rarely needs to go out at night.  I went down the stairs thinking that maybe she was feeling well enough to want to come upstairs to sleep.  I found her in her dog bed in the living room.  I hugged and petted her and invited her to follow me upstairs.  She didn’t move.  She stopped crying for a couple minutes, then started again.  I went back to her and pet her.  I didn’t have my glasses on, but up close, I suddenly saw that her eyes were bouncing – she was having a vestibular attack and couldn’t move as she could not sense direction.  I held her and that helped her stop crying, but her eyes still bounced.  Off to animal emergency me and my family went, not knowing what might happen.  

After three hours, Charly’s vestibular issue had resolved enough that she could walk with some stumbling. Whether the issue would recur was unknown, and if it did it may take days to resolve or not resolve.  We left with our old dog…yet again miraculously having pulled through.  While her bank account was drained again, and we all were very tired, I could treasure every moment with her the next day.  

That night affirmed for me that in my heart, I am ready to let her go when she tells me it’s time.  And, that I think I will know when it’s time.  A surreal calm had come over me that night as she cried with discomfort…a feeling of knowing that she could and would not be made to suffer, and that I will have to at some time unknown, say good-bye to my old friend.  

No comments:

Post a Comment

Sunny days

   With an old dog, there are highs and lows.     For Charly, usually these are determined by her health rather than events, outings, or run...